Just another day

I feel like I am trapped in a time warp. My days seem really long but weeks seem to fly by. Weird.

Are you for real??

I saw a political ad the other day that drove me absolutely bonkers. It essentially said that Democrats support terrorism. Can you back this up with facts? How naive is the American public? Do people really believe this crock of shit? Will we really ever "win" the war on terror? Hey pal, How is that war on drugs coming? I can tell we are "winning" that by the amount of crackheads I deal with on a daily basis. Let's start some real wars. How about the war on illiteracy ? The war on poverty? The war on ass backwards government? The war on cancer? How about the war against war?

Hey man, Nice shirt!

People are always complimenting me on my T-shirt or my hat. To me it just seems kinda silly. I don’t really know how to respond to these compliments. Usually at least once a night someone will say “hey, Nice shirt!” or “I Like that hat!”.Should I say “Thank you I’ve been dressing myself for a while now” or “yeah I bought it this way.” ? I mean what are they actually complimenting? The shirt? My fashion sense? I didn’t make the damn thing. To me it’s just something I threw on. I wasn’t really looking for anyone’s approval.
So I was at work tonight and I really had to piss. I finally got a free second and made a break for the john. Just as I am reaching out for the door some guy taps my shoulder and starts giving me a drink order. Then he tells me no big rush, when I get a chance. Couldn't he fucking wait till I got back behind the bar if it was no big rush? Jeezus let a guy take a whiz. So then I get in the mens room and there is some other retard that thinks I want to have a conversation while I am taking a leak. For the record when my feet are squishing around in piss, puke and god knows what else in a room that smells worse than a port-o-let thats been baking in the sun for a month and I am holding my dick in my hand pissing into a metal trough, having a conversation with the moron standing next to me is the last thing I want to do. To top it off the fucktard actually asks me to get him a beer when I get back to the bar. I really just wanted to turn to the side and piss on his leg. Then maybe, just maybe he might realize that I am not behind the bar at that moment but that I AM TAKING A PISS!

I need a vacation!

I am so beat. I feel like I am being lazy but I am just exhausted. Sometimes these night shifts just take everything out of me. I don't start feeling awake until about 2 or 3 in the morning but by 9 am I am out of it. I'm kinda bummed out that Halloween falls on a night that I work. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Everything fun is happening during the weekend when I work. Everyone is asking me what I am gonna dress up as but it is a pain in the ass to dress up when ya gotta work. A mask is too hot and make-up would just be everywhere about an hour in to working.

Funny How Things Change

The Saints beat the Eagles? The sportscasters are now changing their tone. The Saints are for real. That's funny after hearing at the beginning of the season that we would be in last place; lucky if we even got 5 wins all season. They are all waiting for the bottom to fall out from under the Saints. Well it ain't gonna happen. Most of us in New Orleans knew we had something special. New coach, excellent draft pick, great trades and free agent acquisitions, and weeding out some of the guys who just didn't fit on the team. Now I am not saying we are going to the bowl, but we have just as much of a chance as anyone. I guess what I am saying is that we have been grossly underestimated by the media.

Aww Shit!

So this morning I took of my shorts and threw them on the floor before I went to sleep. I woke up half awake tonight and threw my shorts on to go to the kitchen to get a drink to flush the corpse that died in my mouth out. As I am putting on my shorts I noticed something sticky and wet on my leg. The bastard dog above had decided to shit in my shorts! It wasn't like turds either. It was the damn runny stuff. Talk about a shitty way to start your day.

Halloween is getting closer

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Unfortunately I am pretty sure I am working that night. so now I am not sure what I am gonna do. Probably nothing. It's kinda hard to work dressed up as it gets pretty hot behind the bar. Even if I wear make-up it will more than likely be smeared halfway through my shift.
Anyways I think I will go to House Of Shock at some point. It's a New Orleans Halloween tradition. I do however miss the Mermaid Lounge. They almost always had the best show on Halloween night. In fact there were very few times that I would go to The Mermaid except on Halloween night.
Speaking of the music scene here in New Orleans; I miss the good old days. Yeah there are plenty of local bands that still play here. I mean you have your New Orleans staples: The Meters, The Radiators, Rebirth, Neville Brothers, and Galactic. The local rock/metal/punk scene still has it's staples too: Eyehategod, Pallbearers, Spickle, Suplecs, and Hawg Jaw. Most of these guys have been around on the scene for a long time in one band or another. The problem is getting the bigger named bands here.
Since Tipitina's went the way of only booking local staples and jam bands, and Twiropa is history; That leaves House of Blues and One Eyed Jack's to book the named bands. I have seen some of the best shows in my life at Tipitina's. Bad Brains, Helmet, the Melvins, Butthole Surfers, and GWAR just to name a few. Everybody used to play Tip's Marilyn Manson even played there. Okay so Tip's lost it's way but how in the hell do you lose P-Funk? Okay so then there is House of Blues who had to create a second venue, The Parish, to accommodate the bands Tipitina's was not booking. I detest House of Blues but if you wanna see bands like Ministry, Helmet, Celtic Frost, Slayer, or any good hip-hop shows this is probably where you'll end up going. By the way when House of Blues started they had some support for the local bands. They used to have a night (maybe Monday) that was for the local bands to come in and play. As for the other venues One Eyed Jack's, Howlin Wolf, Republic, and the Venue they can all do better. One Eyed Jacks has some love for the local set and they do bring in some of the indie/underground bands but looking at this months schedule it looks more like a summer schedule. Howlin Wolf can be very unpredictable but then pull a Hank III show outta their ass. I like the Wolf but I think they can do more. Republic and the Venue have potential to push the envelope further with some good hip-hop shows.
I have one more thing to bitch about Voodoo Fest. This year has got to be the weakest line-up for this 2 day event I have ever seen. Even last year when this city was in complete shambles the line-up was better. This year to main draws are supposed to be The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Duran Duran? How is that supposed to compare to some of the past line ups? Queens Of The Stone Age, The Stooges (yes the Motherfucking STOOGES with Iggy Pop),Perfect Circle, Mos Def, De La Soul, Eminem, Snoop Dog, and the Pixies. This year it's seems like they just took who ever they could get. Okay they got Social Distortion, Wu Tang, and the Flaming Lips but Voodoo should be bigger than that. Why not book Iron Maiden, A.F.I., Radiohead, Deftones, Bad Religion, The Mars Volta, Primus, Outkast, Beastie Boys, or even have the Gorillaz come do their thing. I mean get some powerhouse names in there. Some bands that people will actually travel here to see.
Alright I guess I am done bitchin for now.......

Tech Tags: Graveyard+Nola Music Voodoo+Fest Tipitina's House+of+shock Halloween local scene venues house+of+blues Howlin+wolf bands

So Fresh, So Clean

The Graveyard was looking kinda sloppy so I have reformatted it. Thanks to Firdamatic for the template. Gotta go to work soon so this post is ultra brief.
Peace

Buddha and The Butterfly

This was a butterfly that was attacked by one of our cats. The injured butterfly took refuge on our Buddha statue. I came back later and the critter was gone. Maybe the cats got to it again.

So I am pretty excited. Today I purchased a Sony Alpha. This is Sony's first ever digital SLR camera. It's pretty awesome! I can't wait to start taking pictures. I was playing with it in my room a little today. I took a picture of my CD shelf from across the room. I COULD ACTUALLY READ THE TITLES ON THE SPINES OF THE CDs! Anyways I will be sharing some photos with you soon.




******EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY*****
+++++A Piece of Ass+++++
1 shot Amaretto
1 shot Southern Comfort
Pour over ice. Strain.Top off with Sour mix.



What I'm Listening to:

Tech Tags: Graveyard+Nola Evil Shot+of+the+day New+Orleans Sony+Alpha SLR Digital+camera buddha butterfly

Why do crackheads live forever??

I just would like to know how much crack it takes to kill a crackhead. I mean seriously I think I would save up enough to help them get there. Is there a crack pipe in heaven? (I think that was a 2 Pac song). I am gettin fed up with it. I love when they come in to the bar and order a Gin and Jews and pay with a handful of change they just bummed off people. Is dirty ratty money a prerequisite for being a crackhead? Does your single dollar bill have to be almost unrecognizable? How green or black can that handful of nickels be? Do you really think you are that important that I should stop serving the customer I am with to give you a "solid quarter" for your handful of pennies? Sorry all I have is liquid quarters, all out of the solid ones. Just keep giving me that 3 tooth smile. I want to invent a new crack. One that I will promote as the greatest high ever. 1 hit and you die. I think that might solve a lot of problems.
"Hey man try this out.."
"What that is?"
"Aw man this that soopa crack..."
"Aw shit, lemme git somma dat"
"cough,cough, CROAK!"
"Damn! This crack is da bomb!"

Maybe I should just wish that the crackheads switch to Heroin. Then they would be too laid out to come in and bother people.






*****EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY*****
+++++THE CRACKHEAD+++++
1/4 GIN (The Cheaper The Better)
1/4 Vodka(Again the cheaper the better)
1/4 Shot of Milwalkees Best Beer
1/4 Cranberry Juice
A splash of run-off from your spill mat

Serve warm.




What I Am Listening to:

Tech Tags: Graveyard+Nola Crackheads Crack Evil Shot+of+the+day New+Orleans assholes scumbags

Not dead yet

Well I haven't passed away from the miserable tooth. I went to the emergency room yesterday just to get a script for antibiotics. An expensive trip I am sure. I told the doctor I wasn't feeling any pain but he prescribed me Vicodan anyways. I worked last night even though I was exhausted. I pretty much got my ass kicked all night. I am sure tonight will be kinda boring but at least I'll have a few cool people to keep me company. More later......

This toothache is gonna kill me

It started with a little pain. Not too bad at first. A little bit annoying by evening. I took so ibuprofren and went to sleep early. I woke up around 2 A.M. feeling a little swollen. I looked in the mirror and almost passed out. My upper lip was like 10 times it's normal size. Remember Eddie Murphy's lips in the Nutty Professor? My lip looked like that with out CGI effects. The whole side of my face was swollen. Half of my nose was swollen shut and my eye was almost swollen shut. I had a bit of a fever and I slept on and off for the next 8 hours or so. I tried going to a dentist but apparently that is impossible on a Friday afternoon. I didn't want to sit in an emergency room forever so I sucked it up and have been dealing with it the best I can. Some of the swelling has gone down at least. There is still a bag under my eye but the swelling in my lips and around my nose has gone down a lot.
If I don't die of infection overnight and I am still swollen I will go to the ER tomorrow I guess. What a way to fuck up my day.


*****EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY*****
=====Alaskan Pipeline=====
1/2 shot Yukon Jack Canadian whisky
1/2 shot amaretto almond liqueur
ice
Pour over ice,strain into shot glass





Music To Soothe A Toothache:

Tech Tags: New+Orleans N.O.L.A. toothache pain swelling Ibuprofen lips ER dentist Mastodon Slayer Jedi+Mind+Tricks Atmosphere Yukon+Jack Amaretto shot+of+the+day

Sleepless

Jesus! My sleeping schedule has been switched up. For the last few days I have been waking up around 5 to 7 am. I usually don't go to sleep until 10 in the morning. Now I've gotta work at 1 am tonight and I woke up at 5:20 this morning. I think I'm gonna have a rough one tonight.

Today's Ranting

Okay so today I think I will let loose with a ration of rage. Yes I want to take on the stupids. Bring it on!
First let's start with driving around this fine city. Here are some rules that maybe everyone doesn't know (apparently).
The middle of the street is not for walking. See those crooked concrete slabs next to the street? They are not extensions of peoples yards. Those are sidewalks. Side WALKS. Get it? I promise I won't drive on them if you promise not to walk in the street. I know it seems kinda basic but why are you flipping me off when you are the one lost in the middle of the street. I could understand a lot more if you were 8 years old but you are an adult. Act like one or at least pretend.
Back to the middle of the street. Another rule is not to stop your vehicle in the path of traffic to have a conversation with someone. Why is it that I am always behind the asshole that decides the MIDDLE OF THE STREET is a great place to stop and chat with someone they see? See that place next to the curb? Pull over and talk as long as you want. I am always wishing I could hear the conversation that is so important that I have to sit and wait. I imagine it is something like this:

Say girl, Say girl!

Ooooh (insert name here) how you is?

I'm aight. Say how your mom-n-em?

She doin better now that she outta jail

Yo, you seen (Insert name here) round lately?

I herd he be hanging round them dudes on the corner


and so on....

Once again you give me the finger when I honk.


Another rule is when you are driving stop at the stop sign. The area to stop is slightly before the intersection. The middle of the intersection is not a very good place to stop. I think you are purposely trying to wreck my car. I stop even though I don't have a stop sign to let you go. Once again I get the finger or the look like I am the asshole here. I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. No stop sign on my side. It's kinda hard for me to keep going when you are blocking the way.

Alright I am gonna stop ranting now. If I keep blowing off steam I may evaporate.




******EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY******
-----24K NIGHTMARE-----


1/2 oz Goldschlager
1/2 oz Jagermeister
1/2 oz Rumple Minze
1/2 oz Bacardi 151 proof rum

Build over ice. Strain into shot glass. Try not to cry.



What I am listening to:







FLICK PICK'S:

Hot Stuff!!!

What have they been drinking?? Probably today's not so evil shot of the day. There are a few ways to make this shot.
Here is mine:
********(NOT SO) EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY*********
__________GREEN SHIT________
Stoli Vanil
Malibu
Midori
Splash of pineapple juice

What I am Listening to:



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Get off the damn floor you drunk!!!!

I dunno what it is about the floor that people seem to like so much.
I guess that's where it's at for some.

Pantsed!

I dunno know about you but I don't think I could ever be so fucked up that I wouldn't notice that someone pulled my pants down....

Praise Jesus Beeotch!

Guess who's Back??

Yeah it's been a while but I am back in the N.O.L.A. I got the old job back.Hopefully I will have a my vehicle runnin soon and a place to stay but for now I am roughing it. Anyways it's damn good to be back. It's not perfect but it's home!!