Saturday, July 30, 2005

Yes I am a slacker!

Sorry it's been a while since I posted but things have been hectic.(And I am just plain lazy!).
Anyhow I'm still alive and kicking. Funny how I don't usually drink much but the other night I ended up at the bar until 10am.

As a special treat for you guys I figured I'd give ya some fun links to check out as well as one of my favorite shots of the day!

######EVIL SHOT OF THE DAY######
******THE DIRTY SLUT*******

1/3 shot of JAGERMIESTER
1/3 shot of PEACHTREE
1/3 shot of CROWN ROYAL
Splash of cranberry juice

Shake over ice.Strain into shot glass. Try not to think of that evil ex-girlfriend of yours..

Dual Guitar

BIG ASS TITTIES video(This is not porn..Funny ass video)

Zombie Pin-up Girls

Fake-a-wish Foundation

Chemical Brothers Game

Incredible Quarter Toss Video!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Depressing Drunks

As a graveyard shift bartender most of the people I encounter are out partying and having a good time. However, I do work one day shift a week(9am-5pm) and my graveyard shifts run into the early morning hours. Let me first lay out a 24 hour timeframe of the customers of my bar:

7:00am-3:00pm-This is usually the most depressing time in the bar.(I will describe this further later in this post)The exception is between 11:30am-1:00pm where I may have a few tourists or people stopping in for a lunchtime cocktail.

3:00pm-7:00pm-Mainly people getting off work. A happy hour of sorts.

7:00pm-10:00pm-A little slow time with a few stragglers. Maybe a few people getting ready to kick off their night.

10:00pm-3:00am-The general busy time.Good times start rolling. Lots of socializing. No one is very wasted yet at this point.Only about a 20% chance of a fight breaking out.

3:00am-5:00am-The fun starts....Service industry(which I am very happy to see), drunks and people who have gotten kicked out of other bars, people who are too intoxicated to be in public, people looking to buy/sell drugs.This is also the time of night when the girls get fewer and fewer leaving sexually frustrated guys trying to figure out what to do with themselves if there are any females in the bar everyone of these idiots will think they are going home with her. Can't a girl or girls just have a drink without every guy thinking she's looking to go home with one of them. Maybe they just want to relax and enjoy a drink and not have to deal with fending off guys trying to pick them up. (I could get into the pick-up lines but that's a whole different post.) Needless to say this tends to chase the pretty young girls out of the bar which sucks for me.This is also the time of night when there is passing out,puking, pissing, destruction of property, and fighting. Chances of a fight 70%.

5:00am-7:00am-This is a sad time as well..There may be a few service industry stragglers but mostly pathetic guys looking for more drugs or drunk girls to take home or both.Usually extremely coked up or coming down. Hoping that some female is around drunk enough to say yes. Usually a very dead period. The predators usually don't stick around too long once they figure out that it's 6:30 in the morning and they just need to hang it up. Some of them actually think that it might be better at some other bar (but it probably isn't) and leave to go there next.Chance of a fight 40%.

Okay now that I got that out of the way I'd like to talk about the dreaded DAY SHIFT. This is the time of day which just makes me sick to my stomach. Mostly old men(usually not very healthy looking old men) rolling out of bed with the shakes and coming straight to the bar. These guys do it every day. The same shit. I try asking them "why don't you get a hobby or something". It's like I am there watching these guys waiting to die. They wake up and start drinking till they pass out then wake up and do it again. They have nothing in their life except to drink. Mostly beer drinkers with very little or no money.
I feel like a babysitter for the walking dead. Most of them have no friends and are mean old bastards. Sometimes I wish they would just hurry up and die but mostly I wish they would do something fufilling with the little bit of time they have left here on earth. I mean I hope when I am their age I have a hell of a viagra addiction and I am chasing tail at the retirement home. It's frustrating watching these guys who aren't making me any money drinking Milwalkees Best Light and Coors Light. Coughing like they got jello in their lungs.I mean it would be one thing if they were having a good time and socializing and shit. Instead they just sit there looking miserable with their beer.

Alright I just had to get that off my chest...sorry for ramblin on....
Without further ado I bring you:


#####SATAN'S REVENGE######


Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Here are a few pix from around my hood after tropical storm Cindy breezed through the Big Easy...



1/3 shot 151 proof rum
1/3 shot Everclear
1/3 shot triple sec

Make in a shot glass, ignite, and slam!!

This shot is on fire idiot, be careful not to get burned!!!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Visitor Q-DVD Review



This flick is not for the following:
The moral majority
Jesus Freaks

Takashi Miike is probably best described as the Japanese Quentin Tarantino except Miike will take you places Tarantino could never bring you. While Tarantino's style is more focused on storyline and dialog, Miike's visuals will haunt you forever.

Visitor Q will make you think twice about your dysfuntional family as the one on your screen never ceases to amaze. Miike touches upon almost every taboo imaginable and then some. Scenes of necrophilia,abuse,incest, and more will batter your eyeballs and leave you dumbfounded. This movie was originaly made for TV in Japan! (Oh Those Japanese!)
The father is a reality TV host. The Mother a battered, lactating, herion shooting junkie. The daughter is a whore. The son is abused and battered by school bullies day after day. Then a stranger (Visitor Q) shows up and whacks the father on the head.
The dad brings this skull cracking stranger home to meet the family. The family unit begins to change (for the better?).
Let me just say that this is one of the most bizzare movies you will ever see.

I rate "VISITOR Q":
out of five stars.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

The Jacket-DVD review

I was not to sure about this movie when I rented it. Adrien Brody?? Anyways the first few minutes of this flick was like an intense acid trip and little hard to grasp. After the initial mind warping the story starts to flow. Think Jacobs Ladder meets The Butterfly Effect married to 12 Monkeys addicted to Requiem for a Dream and maybe you will understand the ride this movie gives ya.
Anyway Jack Starks (Adrien Brody) is a Gulf War veteran who gets a nasty head wound. The result of certain events leads him to be institutionalized where Dr.Becker (Kris Kristofferson) performs experimental "PSYCHO" therapy involving a straight jacket and a morgue drawer. Jack becomes increasingly confused as he "travels" between the present and a surreal future in which he learns of his demise in 4 days. I won't spoil the rest for ya cause you should really watch this flick.

I rate "THE JACKET":
out of five stars.


This weekend has been one brutal weekend.I feel like I shouldn't have even gone to work. I worked way too hard for the little bit of cash I made..Maybe tonight will be better seeing as how a lot of people have off tomorrow. I'll try to be optimistic but it's hard. All right enough bitchin....


>>>>>FUCK YOU<<<<<

1 shot Tequila
1 shot of Jack Daniels
1 shot Wild Turkey
1 shot Goldschlager
1 shot 151 Rum
1 shot Blueberry Schnapps

Pour over ice, strain in to shot glass.

Possible side effects of this shot may include but are not limited to: Projectile Vomiting, Shortness of Breath, Sudden loss of appetite, Loose Bowels, diarrhea, nausea, sleepiness,urge to make random drunken 3am phone calls to exgirlfriend or mother, male pattern baldness, impotence, and occasional fornication with small furry animals.

Friday, July 01, 2005

New Tattoo

Whoo HOO!!!
I got some new ink yesterday....
The artist was Tim Dennis of Aart Accent on Rampart Street.
The original concept is from a Robert Williams painting Titled:
"The Arapaho Maiden Who Worshiped a Breaded Weenie But Let Her Mustard Go Brown"
Visit Robert Williams Juxtapose Magazine Site!

Oh yeah by the way you should really check this out:
Rooftop Skateboarding!

Anyhow I know you want it so here it is:

1/4 Shot Rumpleminz
1/4 shot Jagermeister
1/4 Shot Tequila
1/4 shot 151 Proof Rum

Create in shot glass then shoot yourself for drinking it!!!

By the way NOLA peeps enjoy Essence Fest you fuckers!